Courageous Choice does not service adoptive couples nor do we market on behalf of adoptive couples. Please contact your local county offices or http://www.nfpainc.org/ for more information on becoming a foster parent.
If you have had unprotected intercourse, suspect your contraceptive method failed, have been forced to have intercourse against your will, or have missed a menstrual period, you should have a pregnancy test. If you are experiencing unexplained breast tenderness, nausea, fatigue, or feel you are about to get your period but it doesn’t come, you should take a pregnancy test.
Buy a test at your local drug store or go to a public health center or crisis pregnancy centers which offer pregnancy tests free of charge or for a very small fee. Don’t forget to get tested for STDs.
The option you choose is likely to have a large impact on your life, so it is important that you take some time consider each option along with a reasonable assessment of your financial and emotional resources. There are three primary options available to you:adoption, abortion and choosing to raise the child yourself. See
Adoption versus abortion
Every state has different laws regarding financial assistance for birthmothers during their pregnancy. Adoptive families do set up trust funds for their birthmother for assistance with costs related to the pregnancy. The legal fees and counseling costs are expenses the adoptive couple covers. Most birthmothers have some type of private insurance or are eligible for state medical assistance during their pregnancy. The cost for medical coverage can be overwhelming so it is in everyone’s best interest for the birthmother to have some type of pregnancy related insurance.
See
Birthmother Services.
There are many reasons why women choose adoption; a single mother may want her baby to have two stable parents, a couple may feel they're too young or don't have the financial resources to raise a child. Others need to complete their education or are in the midst of career difficulties. Even married Birthparents may feel their relationship is not stable enough for a child or they cannot care for more children. Every Birthparent is unique so every reason is unique. Only you can make the decision and your reasons will be respected.
It may be a good idea to talk with a counselor or psychologist as soon as you suspect an unplanned pregnancy. A therapist can help you solidify your decision-making and will assist you to understand and cope with the wide range of emotions you may be feeling. Your partner and/or family are usually emotionally involved in the decision-making process themselves and may not be able to understand your feelings and opinions. It is important that you talk with someone whose focus is on you and whose only goal is to support you, your decisions, and assist you during the process. This is likely to help you as you (and your partner, if this applies) discuss what to do. A therapist can also provide information about social service agencies in your city that can help you medically and financially.
Every state has specific laws regarding birthfathers. If your birthfather is cooperative and agrees with an adoption he will be required to sign documents releasing his rights to the child. If your birthfather is unknown you will be requested to complete certain documentation to support the unknown status. Please call one of our Birthmother Counselors toll free at 1-877-480-8255 and discuss your particular case so they may advise you correctly.
Documents provided by the birthmother and birthfather are only available to child once they become an adult and the birthparents have signed the designated documents to allow records to be released to the adoptee. However, if you have an open relationship with the adoptive parents they are the most likely ones to share information about the birthparents with the child.
Your adoption plan is very confidential. Whom you share it with is strictly up to you. Every thing that you share with our birthmother counselor will be held in the strictest confidence.
Making an adoption plan is a courageous and unselfish way to show your child you love them if you are not prepared to parent yourself. If a woman is not ready to parent, adoption is the most loving solution to an unplanned pregnancy. It is a selfless decision that offers her child the love and security of a home.
Our housing is mainly for pregnant woman without other children. If possible we will try to find accommodations that will allow you to have your other children with you. Most of the time the children are more comfortable staying with a family member in their own environment. This is a difficult time for you physically and emotionally and if you can have this time for yourself, it sometimes is allows you to just pay attention to your needs for a while. This is something that can be discussed with the Birthmother Counselor on an individual basis.
Yes. You are the birthmother and you make the decisions. You can choose the degree of openness.
You will know because you choose them, meet them and get to know them. Even if you prefer not to have much contact, parents who adopt through Courageous Choice must prove, through a series of tests and questions called a “home study”, that they are prepared and ready to accept such responsibilities. Courageous Choice is very selective of its families and protective of its birthmothers and adopted babies. We only place children in good and loving homes. Also, the birthmother can request and designate an open adoption, where she will be able to keep tabs on her child as he or she grows through letters and pictures.
It is very important to make a plan that is comfortable for both you and the adoptive parents. Many Birthparents receive letters and photos from the adoptive parents on an ongoing basis, some just periodically. Others have phone conversations and a few actually visit one another. It is important to choose parents whose ideas about ongoing contact are similar to your own. Sometimes couples are initially fearful about continued contact, but your counselor can help them with this and help you make a plan that works for everyone.
Yes, absolutely! Your birthmother counselor will meet with you and find out what specific criteria you are looking for in a family (i.e. race, religion, age, other children, etc.). We will present you with profiles of families that meet your specifications. You will know their first names, see profiles of their lives, and if you request pictures and updates following placement, they will be sent to you through Courageous Choice. You can spend time with them to get to know them. Many Birthparents meet for dinner, go to doctor visits together, talk on the telephone and/or write to each other. You can be the one to hand the baby to them at the hospital. Or, you can make your choice without meeting them. Open adoption allows you to decide how open or private you want your relationship to be with the family you choose.
Each State is different, but under California law, your adoption placement agreement is signed once you have given birth and are medically discharged from the hospital. It is a good idea to think about your plans as early in your pregnancy as possible. Your counselor will discuss this with you if you choose adoption.
Mostly the sadness is about your circumstances and if you had been pregnant at a different time in your life you might have chosen to keep the baby. However, the joy in your heart of knowing your child is loved, and life is beautiful and safe and all the opportunities you want your child to have are there, guess what that overshadows the sad feelings you have for yourself.
Courageous Choice is located in CA but we work with birthmothers from all over the United States.
Call us anytime, day or night. We will answer your call right away. When returning calls to you, we do not say we are calling in regards to adoption. We care about you and know that adoption is a difficult decision and private one. We would like to help you. We care about you and your baby.
Our lines are open 24 hours a day. However, unless it is an emergency the Birthmother Counselors generally are available from 8:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m Pacific Standard Time.If you’d prefer, contact us through our website http://www.courageouschoice.com/adoption-contact.html. Either way, a caring counselor will gladly explain the adoption process and all of the options that are available to you. Your contact is completely confidential and does not obligate you to adoption or Courageous Choice in any way.
At the time of adoption, you choose whether or not you would be open to being contacted one day by your child. The level of contact between you, the adoptive family, and your child are you and the adoptive parents’ decision. You may have as much contact with your baby at the hospital as is comfortable for you. You can choose an open adoption that allows ongoing visits, or you can choose a less open adoption where your updates come through your letter and pictures arranged through Courageous Choice. Adoptive families respect your need to know your child is well cared for.
The Adoptive Parent(s) will be given information about your background, family and medical history, interests and hobbies - what you are like as a person. They will learn how and when to share this information and how to answer your child's questions with love and sensitivity. They will explain the very difficult and unselfish decision you made when you decided adoption would be best for your child. Or, if you have an open adoption, your child and adoptive family can have ongoing access to you and what's happening in your life. Discuss with your counselor before moving forward.
Confusion depends more on the extent of communication that occurs between the child and the adoptive family. Actually, closed adoption seems to create more confusion or frustration for adopted children because of the unknowns.
The adoptive parents will want to know all they can about you. They will probably be interested in your medical history, your healthcare, your age, and your interests. You may provide any additional information you would like them to have.
Yes, you may choose whether or not you would like to see your baby, and how long you want to be with him or her. Papers do not become effective, and are sometimes not even signed until 24 to 48 hours after your child’s birth, depending on the state you give birth in.
At the time of the adoption, you may choose to have an open file to your child. If you do, he/she will have access to your identity. If you choose a closed adoption, your identity will remain anonymous.
If you are not ready to be a parent, you can still give your baby the gift of life and choose adoption. You can plan your baby's future by selecting a stable, loving family to care for your baby and be proud of your decision. At birth, you can see your baby, name your baby, and love your baby. If you so choose, you can get updates on your child's progress while you continue your education and career goals. Finally, you avoid the trauma and heartache of abortion.
Once you choose a family and are solid in your decision, it is considered a "match." If you desire to meet the family or participate in a conference call with them, this can be arranged. Our adoption counselors will assist you in making an adoption plan and will work with you throughout the process.
We will make arrangements for that ahead of time, whether you are living at home or have chosen to stay with us prior to your delivery. We will take good care of you and hold your hand every step of the way. You are never alone and will be well supported during your delivery. It is your choice whether or not the adoptive parents are present for the delivery.
After the baby is born you will most likely remain in the hospital for 24 hours before you are released. It is your choice how much contact you wish to have with the baby at the hospital. If you have chosen a family, they will be informed of your progress. If you want them at the hospital with you, that may be arranged. We will go at your pace, you are in charge. You will be required to fill out the birth certificate and other hospital forms while there, along with your release signature to the new adoptive parents. Your adoption support counselor will be there to help you every step of the way at the hospital and for moral support while helping you finalize plans regarding legal documents, etc.
An open adoption keeps both the birthparents and adoptive parents in contact with each other. This can vary greatly in scope, and involves anything from occasional pictures
and letter to scheduled visits with the birthparents. This type of adoption is becoming more popular. It can also be emotionally taxing for all parents involved,
and possibly confusing for the child. However, this form of adoption can help to prevent confusion for the child as he grows older, because nothing has been hidden from the start.
Unfortunately Courageous Choice can not help, but there are several internet sites dedicated to bringing families back together. Please see www.omnitrace.com or www.adoption-birthparent-search.com/find-birth-parent.htm
Please contact a family law attorney in your area to help you.
